


a world too big (a hope too dim)

by blacksbear



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Ben Hargreeves is the best, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Protective Ben Hargreeves, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25542331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacksbear/pseuds/blacksbear
Summary: Still stuck in a motel because people have yet realize that he’s missing, Klaus begins to wonder a lot of things. . . not good things, but Ben is there to make it all better.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 9
Kudos: 349





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> tw: suicidal thoughts, mentions of torture.

Sometimes, the world feels too big and Klaus starts to wonder with what purpose one comes to life.

He finds himself imagining the face of his father—if he can even be called that—and he wonders if Klaus’s purpose and destiny always meant to put him through years of misery.

The shadow of a headless woman creeps through the door, and he has half the mind to make a run for it, but he _can’t_ and he’s _tired_. He’s so tired that not even the fakest of smiles stretches along his lips and he begins to wonder if this is _it_.

If this is the last bit of his energy - of his _will_.

Klaus hasn’t deemed himself to be suicidal in the past - not when he was stuck in the mausoleum, or when Five disappeared, or when Ben appeared in front of him, cold and lifeless, or when he woke up after yet another overdose. 

He has been through some shit, and suddenly everything catches up to him—making him wonder . . . **why** is he even here?

When Hazel and Cha-Cha walk through the door, they could very well kill him and - and he isn’t sure if he _minds_ the idea of that. 

No one is coming for him, anyways.

All he has left is Ben, the boy who’s forced to look at him in this darkened room with the very definition of sad, pitying eyes and _yes, yes, yes,_ Klaus is tired for the both of them.

“ _Klaus_.”

It’s as though Ben can hear his thoughts and he rushes forward like he can save him from the internal battle of his mind, but that place up there is too dark and grim - even for a ghost.

Ben is **_dead_** , and the thought of it always cuts through his heart, more cruel than the russian man’s words as he tries to spit on Klaus’s face.

He snorts, exhausted. “What?”

Ben crouches in front of the chair, glancing sideways because maybe - just _maybe_ , he can hear one of his siblings coming for him. 

“They’re not coming,” Klaus whispers, shaking his head slowly but regretting it almost instantly as he gets even dizzier. “It’s meant to end this way, Benny-boy.”

His brother’s eyes widen slightly and he looks the most frazzled Klaus has seen him since his last OD. “Don’t say that,” he chastises softly, his voice warming his soul more than a living human could.

Ben has always been worth it. Klaus used to think that if he kept going, his siblings would also be able to see Ben one day. 

Even though they never believed him, Klaus still had _hope_.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out brokenly. Something is burning in the back of his eyes and he wishes for his drugs again, to numb the hot pool that now streams down his face. “It’s not worth it, anymore.”

“Just wait—“

“They won’t ever notice,” Klaus cuts him off, staring into the sad sheen in his brother’s gaze. His lips part open and Klaus waits for the inevitable, encouraging words from Ben.

But it seems even he now knows what the truth is.

They won’t notice him gone, and at that gut clenching thought, Klaus wishes he could at least, feel Ben for one last time. 

And just as his eyes continue to bore into the other, something _shifts_ in the room and he wonders where the sudden light is coming from until his eyes snap down to his hands, catching the blue beam that blinds the sight of blood underneath his nails.

“What—“ he stammers, his eyes wide as he _feels_ Ben wrap his fingers around his wrist, and his brother looks just as surprised as him, but there’s something much deeper etched on his face.

_Firm with purpose._

Ben removes all the bindings around his wrists and ankles, and suddenly—suddenly, Klaus is _free_ and he’s holding onto Ben like his life depends on it. 

He only lets go so that they can look at the door, and they simultaneously make a go for it before the two kidnappers can come back from their ‘special chocolate’ journey, any time. 

* * *

Ben flickers in and out on the way home, and Klaus feels guilty as he realized it’s because of him and his weakness, but Ben insists that it’s not his fault. 

“You were tortured for so long,” he says, his voice distant to Klaus’s ears as they finally enter the _lovely_ hell hole that is the Umbrella Academy. 

There is a chandelier on the floor, and worry flicks through him at the thought of one of his siblings being hurt.

_Until_ he catches sight of them discussing something in the living room, and suddenly, Ben is visible again and _oh_ , they’re in for a long, long talk with the boy.

Klaus knows from experience - from the fond memories of his brother worrying for _him_ , and he lets Mom heal his injuries as Ben continues to yell at their siblings for being so awful, even when they’re first surprised at the sight of him as a ghost.

Maybe, it _is_ worth it.

Life, he means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, here it is: my very first TUA one-shot, a very short one at that, but one, regardless.
> 
> as you can see, i love giving a lot of pain to my most loved characters, so i’m sorry, klaus ... there’s a chance i’ll be doing it again, but i’m sure Ben will be there to heal the pain!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasn’t thinking of adding another chapter initially but it happened, so here’s a small glimpse of the rant the siblings got from ben. i hope you enjoy <3

Ben can’t believe his eyes. 

While Klaus allows Mom to fret over his injuries, Ben’s gaze fits around the room, where all of their siblings are supposedly taking care of a drunk Five, the boy holding onto a stupid mannequin.

Normally, Ben would’ve been _overjoyed_ at the chance of finally talking to them, but there’s a sense of hot outrage that burns deep within, and he glowers at the surprise etched on their faces. 

“How _dare_ you forget about Klaus like this?” he demands, his ashen knuckles growing paler by his sides as he takes one step forward. 

Vanya is the first one to move towards him, gingerly—oh, so carefully latching her fingers around his arm and when her hand doesn’t go through, a rare, hesitant but beaming smile grows on her lips. “ _Ben?_ ”

He nods reluctantly—he hadn’t been too close to her, or even most of his siblings before his death; and he _did_ see the consequences to her book firsthand. 

Klaus overdosing after finding the unfortunate truth spilled on paper. 

After they all step closer and hug him tightly, some for longer than others, he steps back and folds his arms over his chest. Usually, he would take this stance to reprimand _Klaus_ for something he’d done but today, he’s not the one who deserves it.

“How could you _forget_ about him?” he repeats lowly - mainly because Klaus is just around the corner and Ben doesn’t want him to know how insensitive the Hargreeves can be.

Not that Klaus doesn’t know more than enough already.

“What happened to him?” Diego asks instantly, and warm relief floods in his chest at knowing that there is at least _one_ person in the living world that somewhat cares for Klaus. 

Ben offers him a sad, if not still annoyed, smile. “He was kidnapped by Hazel and Cha-Cha.”

On the couch, Five’s slumped form turns into something more stiff, and the boy slowly lifts his head to meet Ben’s gaze. “Were they—“

“Yes, they were looking for _you_ ,” Ben answers, his nostrils flaring hotly when he notices that no one has yet to ask if Klaus is even _alright_. 

Allison looks surprised. “I thought Klaus was . . .”

“What?” he demands sharply, narrowing his eyes into thin slits. His voice gains a dangerous edge as he continues, “Did you think that he was out there on the streets, _homeless_ again and looking for fucking _drugs?_ ”

Luther looks uncomfortable, with his sad-puppy eyes wide but still nowhere close to remorseful as he offers a mere shrug. “Well, you can’t _blame_ us for thinking that way. It’s how he has been for years, now.”

His nails dig half-moon imprints in his palms, and his chest rises and drops at the rush of bitter, cold fury at the man in front of him. “So, you’re just going to forget that he’s our _brother?_ ”

Luther looks surprised that someone is even defending a person like Klaus, and the _Horrors_ in his stomach begin to stir and twist, unable to tolerate the cruelty directed at Ben’s best friend. 

“You were all gathered here together, but didn’t think to wonder where Klaus could be? After a fucking _break in?_ ” 

Allison’s jaw drops softly, and by the sad sheen in her eyes, Vanya seems to also be holding back tears, but he can’t stop anymore - not when he has seen the nightmares that have been tormenting his poor brother for too long.

**_Their_ ** brother. 

“You gave up on our brother just like Father did! You even refused to believe that he could see me, when you knew that his power was literally seeing fucking _ghosts!_ ”

Luther clears his throat uncomfortably. “But the drugs—“

Somewhere behind him, Klaus expels a loud groan. “Forget about it, Benny-boy. I appreciate the thought, but I told you they wouldn’t care.” 

Him and Diego immediately rush to the doorway to help the man lean his weight against them, and they help him move towards the couch. They settle him besides Five, who swallows visibly and looks sick at the sight of their tortured brother. 

Ben immediately sits down as well, gathering his brother into his arms and clutching onto his body tightly. There had been _so_ _many_ times where he’d wished to reach out to him, give him some kind of comfort that wasn’t just words and now . . . he _finally_ has the chance. 

Diego crouches down and soothingly rubs a hand over the man’s knee. “How are you doing, bro?”

Klaus’s gaze is fixed on his lap, still not looking over at the other siblings. “I’m alright. Just a little, kinky choking here and there.”

With an exasperated and fond roll of his eyes, Ben buries his face into the crook of Klaus’s neck, shutting his eyes softly and allowing his presence to calm him down. 

The _Horrors_ croone all the while. _He’s safe—he’s safe—he’s safe—_

Diego clears his throat softly, a gentle sound he never thought would come out of Number Two. “I’m sorry, Klaus,” he says with a clear layer of honesty and regret. “I’m so—so g-glad you’re safe now.”

“Yeah,” Five speaks from his seat, shifting and twitching under the burning gazes of everyone. “I’m also sorry that they took you because of me.”

Their sisters move simultaneously and murmur their words of apology as they place their hands over Klaus’s arm, and Luther still stands in front of them, wrangling his hands with his eyes wide. “I’m sorry.”

He can feel Klaus relax in his hold - _slightly_ , but he knows that it’s progress in comparison to the past. 

Ben is hopeful.


End file.
